8 Life Traps You Should Avoid to make life yours
What can I say? It’s hard to be aware all the time. It’s hard to silence the cacophony of external voices and listen to our internal ones. Even more daunting is the realization that there is a need to silence the outside background to connect with our unique inner world. What's the verdict, then? Do your critical abilities stem from your DNA and that’s when you should thank your papa and mama or is it that it’s just your environment that makes you annoyingly judgmental, censorious, and skeptical? In that, you should also thank your mama and papa for putting you there…
Or any member of your family,
Or any friends,
God, it’s hard to include everyone…
At this point, I am no expert on these psychological and sociological realms. Nevertheless, one thing I know for sure is that you’re present and I am going to present you some life traps that you should avoid (if you want to…) to live a life that is yours and no one else’s. (Trust me, a lot of lives are monotonously lived because they’re stolen).
Let’s begin:
The Fit in Trap: honestly, isn’t it tiring always to follow the trends? Striving for a prestigious career, wearing vogue clothes, posting your life on social media and broadcasting illusory joy, showing off a nonexistent wealth, going to college immediately after high school, not having gaps between jobs, using popular slang, attending social gatherings, Following dietary trends, buy the last iPhone… Please, stop. Now at least, you’re aware you’re doing it. A good start…Now, ask yourself: ‘Why do I do this? What do I truly gain from this type of behavior?
The Approval-Seeking Trap: This comes when the first trap is being avoided. This means that once you identify the reasons why you’re trying so hard to blend in, you will stop seeking external validation for everything that you do. Hence, You will realize that the only person that you need to satisfy first is yourself.
College after high school Trap: this is probably very subjective and sometimes controversial. However, why would someone want to self-inflict the pain of attending more classes, doing more homework, and possibly juggling a job alongside academia probably after spending all summer working to afford college (Without mentioning the mountain of debt).
Let’s consider an alternative approach:
—> Go interrailing Europe for three months while volunteering to get free food and shelter. I promise you will gain more value in a few months than spending years in college. At least, you’ll start college with fresh perspectives about life and less stress on your shoulders.
Early Life Clarity Trap: There's no rule stating you must have your entire path mapped out by 18 or even 25. It's perfectly normal to explore various interests and find that something you once dedicated immense time and energy to no longer brings satisfaction. One fact for you: a human being is in constant growth. However, to expedite the process one must venture out into the world, experiment with new endeavors, engage with diverse individuals and professionals, indulge in creativity, and express yourself through different types of art. Such explorations play an important role in the journey of self-discovery.
The Excessive Self-Reliance Trap: We live in a society that revolves around the sense of self rather than a sense of community. expressions like self-made millionaires do not exist. Individuals cannot navigate through life without depending on others. Every item you purchase at the grocery store embodies the effort and labor of numerous individuals. When you pay for these goods, you're not just buying the product; you're compensating for the transportation, agricultural labor, and other essential services that brought it to the shelf. So no, you didn’t make dinner yourself. You had a little, or maybe too much help. You’re just not aware of it. Now, imagine the possibilities that unfold when you embrace the power of a community and the power of asking for a hand. Imagine how far you’d go…
The Control Trap: We are not supposed to control everything. We take buses, airplanes, and trains driven by other people. We put faith in people but not in a higher power… Maybe it’s time to realize that the universe did not come from ‘nothing’. Only a person deprived of cerebral abilities would believe such a bold and self-contradicting statement. The best scientists agreed that the more they explored the world, the more they believed in a supreme divinity. Besides, so much peace you will find in doing your best and letting go right after.
The must resolve the Unresolved Past Trap: “What you focus on expand”, nothing sums up the spiritual law of the universe better than this sentence. Trust me, sometimes, there’s no need in wanting to resolve all your past trauma. Certain memories are best left untouched. If people don’t give you closure, stop dwelling on resolving the trauma that came with it. Sometimes, the wisdom of 'forgive and forget' holds a certain truth. It’s better to focus on the person you want to become rather than holding on to the person that traumas and past experiences shaped.
The Scarcity Trap: This trap is characterized by the belief that there is never enough of something, whether it's money, love, adventures, job offers, or anything… really. It can lead to constant anxiety, competitiveness, and a sense of inadequacy or insecurity. People stuck in this trap often struggle with generosity and may hoard resources or opportunities, fearing they won't have enough in the future.
—> One example from my personal life: securing an interview and succeeding doesn't mean taking away someone else's chance. It simply indicates it wasn't the right fit for you from the start. It's a huge misconception to believe that opportunities are being stolen. I am particularly drawn to the Islamic concept of 'maktoub,' meaning 'it is written' in Arabic. This belief holds that everything destined for you is predetermined by God, ensuring that what's meant for you will find its way. Of course, you have to put in the effort to draw it to you… Sometimes, adopting this perspective can significantly alleviate anxiety and mental burden.
